I think we all know why we’re here… We have come… to pay homage… to the Queen!
For those of you don’t know me, I am Irene’s favorite son in law… I’m also her only son in law. Whenever Irene and I were together, I introduced myself as her favorite son in law. Before I was finished, she would always say “he’s my only son-in-law”!
When Mary asked me to deliver the eulogy, I was honored and excited to do it. First, because I love and respect Irene so much, and second because this will be the only time that I would ever have the final word with her. And she provided us with an awful lot of good material.
I met Irene 27 years ago. Dick and Irene’s only daughter Mary got engaged to a sailor from Philadelphia after dating him for only two weeks. Then he took off for several months and could not communicate with her. When Mary approached Dick and Irene about wedding plans, they asked if they can meet this guy. Mary said no, because he went away. When they asked her if they could see a picture of him, she said no… I don’t have one. Then, when they asked to see the engagement ring she said…no, I don’t have one of those either. So when I met Dick and Irene for the first time, I’m sure they were hiding the valuables and silverware. But Irene told Mary that she thought I was handsome… and we got along beautifully ever since.
Irene Murphy Wileman was an American original. She’s a very kind and loving person. She cared very deeply for family… her brother and sisters and nieces and nephews meant everything to her.
She had a special relationship with her twin sister, Doris. Twins have a unique relationship where one of them catches a cold and the other one coughs. There are several stories of Doris and Irene showing up wearing the same exact outfit. One time Dick and Irene were living in Massachusetts while Doris and George were living in Georgia. They were all preparing to go overseas to Germany with the Army. The newspapers in Ohio wanted to take a picture of the twins and their husbands before they departed for Germany. Doris and Irene showed up for the picture wearing the exact same outfit purchased separately, 1000 miles apart!
There are several stories exactly like this with Doris and Irene.
They also liked to play tricks on people. One time, Georgie was given a list of chores to do by his mother Doris, while Doris went to visit Irene. When Georgie finished the chores, he called his mother to tell her that he was finished, and was going to relax at the pool. However, Irene answered the phone, pretended that she was Doris, and gave Georgie an additional list of chores.
Frequently George and Ann were sent to visit Irene on “vacation”. They concluded that this was no vacation at all, and they got a spanking on both ends.
The loves of Irene life were her grandchildren. And her grandchildren absolutely adored her.
Whether going to the beach, or shopping at the BX, or decorating Easter Eggs, or making her famous Christmas cookies, she always made them feel special. She really relished the role of Granny. At one point, I started calling her “Big G” and after a while, Mary suggested that I ask her if she would rather be called Irene…or Big G?? She looked at me, surprised and said “Big G, of course”. She had Granny refrigerator magnets, Granny sweatshirts, Granny calendars, Granny beach towels. One particular sign summed it up, saying that Granny is a lean, mean spoiling machine.
Dick and Irene succeeded at producing the kindest hearted person I’ve ever met in their daughter Mary.
Mary and Irene were devoted to each other ever since Dick died more than 20 years ago. They spoke daily and Mary was exemplary at caring for her ailing mother and probably added six or seven years of health and happiness to Irene’s life through her advocacy. Mary visited Irene every day for the past two years. She made Kentucky Derby hats for all the residents, fed her when she could, baked cakes and cookies for the staff, and did everything in her power to make her mother’s final years as happy as possible.
Irene loved her friends and neighbors in Myrtle Beach. Betty, Ginny, Huddie, and Bev were her closest. She was always the first to have dinner for friend in need, and deliver meals to shut ins with meals on wheels.
Most importantly, Irene loved God. She was a 30 year member of the Church of the Resurrection, serving on the altar guild the entire time. She drew strength by reading her bible every day.
The morning that Irene died, Mary and I began making phone calls, and one of those was to my Mom and Dad. When I told my father that she had passed, he said “Paul, she was a tough lady”… And that is a very high compliment from him. I heard a quote attributed to Arnold Palmer and that goes “your hometown is not where you’re from… it’s who you are”. And Irene Murphy Wileman was from Ironton, Ohio. She was born in 1926, three years before the stock market crash which was followed by 10 years of the Great Depression. It consumed her childhood. She would tell us stories of eating cucumber sandwiches for dinner, and eating cream of wheat most other times.
Irene learned from these hardships, and took nothing for granted. She and Dick and remained wise with their money their entire lives. She told us funny stories about colorful people with colorful names and the glory days of Ironton.
Irene had uncompromising standards. We’ve all heard about the right way and the wrong way, but in her world, it was Irene’s way, or was wrong! She was sometimes wrong, but she was never in doubt!
She had many endearing routines and catch phrases that we looked forward to hearing. When she was a young mother, Ann told me that she used to do her cleaning in the morning, and then sit down for lunch with a poached egg on toast and coffee and watch her “soaps”. She loved watching Matlock and Murder She Wrote. For Sunday dinner, it was roast beef, potatoes and gravy, and green beans. And of course, you only cut enough roast beef for tonight’s meal, otherwise it would dry out. For breakfast, it was Raisin Bran, All Bran, and Grape Nuts layered in the bowl. I called it the "Granny power combo." If someone was sick, it was tapioca. If it was chocolate, it was Russell Stover. Don’t you dare give her a Whitman Sampler. She sent Mary back to the store when she tried.
She would give you the shirt off her back, but when you returned it, it had better be “warshed”, ironed, and hung up in the closet. At the end of a good meal, everyone knew that she “likes her coffee with her cigarette”.
When she hit a big jackpot at the casino, she would always stay for a few more pulls, to throw the next player off the trail.
When she began pointing her index finger, you knew that you were about to receive “an important instruction” from her. Sometimes the finger will be wagging for 15 seconds before the instruction came, but you better be in the ready position when it did.
Irene had a wonderful sense of humor. She had an infectious, galloping, high pitch laugh that invited you to join in. When you heard her cry out “Hi Boosie”, you knew that you were in for fun afternoon. She would let her grandchildren dress her up, in bows from Christmas presents, funny hats and fake mustaches. I think you’ve all seen the picture of her looking like Super Mario… Or a rap star. She was the coolest Granny on Facebook.
A very funny thing happened when Irene visited Las Vegas. Irene always leaves the TV on while she sleeps but was having trouble turning on the television with the hotel’s remote control. After some fumbling, Irene saw the television turn on, but was stuck on videos of naked people, and it stayed on all night while she slept. I think that Irene slept very well that night. She was not too happy when the hotel told her that she was being charged for the movies. At least, that’s her story, and she’s sticking to it.
Irene kept the staff laughing at Brooke Grove, with her jabs and off the cuff remarks. They said that they will miss her terribly.
The Rafferty's have a very busy spring and summer coming up, with three graduations… High School, College, and Graduate School. Last weekend was a very memorable one for us. On Friday, Richard got accepted to his first choice of colleges. On Saturday, a wonderful young man got down on one knee, and asked Kathleen to be his bride. He wanted to be sure to ask her while Granny was still with us and could enjoy it. Several hours later we received the phone call that Granny had passed away. It was as if Granny was saying to Mary, you need to pay attention to your family, you’ve got a lot to do, and it’s time for me to go. I will be fine.
Interestingly enough, Kathleen and Dan spent the day of their engagement snowshoeing in Colorado. There was only one trail open that day, and believe it or not, the trail was named “Ironton”.
During the last few months of her life, Irene struggled to remember things and had a very difficult time putting her thoughts into words. A week or two before she died, the Chaplin held a service, and gave Irene Communion. He then asked her if she wanted to say the Lord’s Prayer together with him, and she nodded yes. Darn if she didn’t nail every word, without hesitation!
One last thing Irene, I think I see your sisters sitting at a breakfast table. Doris just popped up to make another pot of coffee. Dick and George are arguing about a fish that they caught, and two beautiful little girls named Kathy and Mary Irene can’t wait to jump on your lap, and smother you with kisses.
Rest in peace Big G, we love you, and we miss you already. We will carry you in our hearts forever!
